Sunday, December 31
The End-of-Year Meme.
This one asks for the first sentence from the first entry of each month of 2006 and does an interesting job of rounding up the events of the year. More importantly, all crytic sentences are stripped bare. Sentences previously shrouded in ambiguity because it just
seemed so pertinent then. Because time is deceptive. It magnifies all neuroses of the present, making it seem that you never will quite recover fully. But months later, you're still living. People may have come and gone, issues will have loomed large and shrank, memories will have faded. All the white lies and sly omissions pass on overrated in the grand scheme of things; truth becomes inconsequential and rolling it out, open and honest for the world, doesn't require that much bravery anymore.
January: Giddy up all resolutions y'all and make personal pacts to streamline your diets to compensate for all that festive feasting in the past weeks!!
(Classic Amanda-isms) on starting the year bright and cheery and skinny.February: When I reach, it'd be our 17th month anniversary so (naturally) he's treating me to dinner!
On flying over to the States to meet Zhenghao with whom I was very much in love with.March: "I am so bored. Do something about it.", reads the note somebody slipped me from behind.
On a regular day in Bocconi.April: So I went to a house party in Monza with Sebastian, and it was...interesting.
On Sebs saying all the wrong things at all the wrong times, like telling me his friends didn't think I was pretty. Yes, it was very mortifying.May: Tired, but happy! :]
On living it up in countless bars and clubs, painting the town red with Sebs and his Mini. June: I have been absorbed in some stupid einstein
quiz that I just can't solve!
On doing stupid quizzes when I ought to have been studying.July: When your heart tells you to stay; when you want to uproot all your loved ones and haul them over the oceans instead.
On not wanting to leave Milan, not wanting to go home.August: Lynn Chan turns 22 today!
On the obvious, obviously.September: Folks! I'm headed to the SHANGHAI GRAND PRIX!
On racking up yet another pin flag in my lengthy list of Exotic Places Travelled to in Year 2006.October: Know what? I'm back :]
On being so excited to be back after Phuket and Shanghai, because I missed Terence so much.November: I Will Not Be The Same As I Was When I Was Yours says: our dear kenneth doing a rendition of spirit fingers from the movie Bring It On.
On sharing Lionel's evil glee in circulating Kenneth's infamous Spirit Fingers video.December: Macro-econo-fuck*face*shit-mics.
On despairing on ever passing this module.So what happened the other 353 days? So much, too much. I moved in with Van and Jia, friends I've grown to treasure very much. I fell for Sebs and learnt not to squirm under his gaze; something I haven't done ever since. I dropped Sebs, got dumped by Zhenghao and almost turned alcoholic. I had a glorious 3-hour MSN conversation with a guy I barely knew; he intruiged me. I went out with James who turned out to be a 'Generation-X' psycho. I fought with Liwern; we made up in time for Phuket, but the damage was irreversible. I fell for Terence, but Lynn stopped talking to me soon after. Nicholas got his girl pregnant and my family went into crisis. The exams came and went before we had our first date. 2 days later, I kissed somebody else. Things escalated and December can be summarized in a word,
emo.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
11:00 PM
ON THE FIRST DAY OF 2007,
I PLAN TO START MY DIET REGIME.
I'M GETTING INCORRIGIBLY FAT.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
3:49 PM
Pitch Black is this film cafe-cum-art gallery-cum-local music showcase-cum chillout space on Haji Lane. It is
severely hip. We were all very impressed. Cheryl's friend, the birthday boy, was a candy-colored vision who wouldn't look out of place at an all-American diner. We too tried to dress up accordingly. Cheryl had a lovely monochrome shift on. I tied a scarf around my neck in an attempt to channel some 60's United Airways flight attendant (or so I hoped) aura. And Kenneth; the dear boy just mistook
retro for
cowboy. Lol. Midway, I had a visitor.
Hello, we say as we settle against plump cushions at Ambrosia. Divine Pleasures amidst dim romantic lighting, the heavy lull of fans and the sweet oppression of sheesah clouds. What irony, I think to myself, that we should be having the most somber of conversations. Laughter, as mugs were raised; whispers as lovers bent their heads low. But us. Us, we talk of gloom and doom. An hour later, I stand small on the sidewalk, barely reaching his nose. My toes rise, and I reach to hug him goodbye. And I feel like I almost feel nothing; guilt and regret has always played a long catching-up game with me.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
2:55 PM
"It's not you, it's me."
Nothing describes it better than this.
You have done absolutely nothing wrong, but somehow together, we're wrong.
I cannot explain myself, other than that my heart and soul simply isn't willing. And I feel like shit, knowing that I have consciously caused you so much pain. Knowing that you have been trying your best to be what I'm looking for. Knowing that you have a heart of gold which somehow doesn't seem quite enough for me. Knowing that I'm almost torturing us both. Knowing too well.
Yes, it's entirely Me.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
5:35 AM
Wednesday, December 27
Meet Richard.Santa who thinks he's from the 'Hood.
Meet Cheryl and Kenneth.Darlings who Flirt with each other incessantly.
Meet David.He calls himself DJ Samurai.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
3:20 AM
Tuesday, December 26
I wish I wasn't the source of your Yuletide woe.
It's what I do best when I'm emo. I run off into a stark vacuous world of my own, with no time nor want to contemplate on that whirlpool of confusion churning around me. You're always a reassuring sight; tall, warm and sturdy. None of that lack of conviction that once unnerved me so. Quite the contrary, rather. It pleases me that you should like me as much as I did. I should have been revelling in it, should have been spending Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and Boxing Day with you. But I didn't, because something died along the way in December. Something that made me a little less certain, the most fatal of foibles. I couldn't help it, and I still cannot help it. It frustrates me so, because in a very twisted way, I don't want to make any decisions, don't want to take any actions, don't want to gain anything, nor lose anything. Or risk everything.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
5:07 PM
Monday, December 25
"Cmq. Mi manchi. Ciao amore."
I can't stop smiling. Because the Postman has just delivered me a card. Not any old Christmas card, but one without any christmas trees, any snowmen, any lame ass Santas. Just the words "Ti penso sempre!!" and little pink paper mache flowers on the front. Sigh :] Miss you too, Hoops. Buon Natale!! Xoxo. Now I just have to figure what "Tanti Auguri" means. Vanessa sweet peas, help!??!
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
5:55 PM
Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Let your heart be light
From now on,
Our troubles will be out of sight
Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Make the Yule-tide gay,
From now on,
Our troubles will be miles away.
Here we are as in olden days,
happy golden days of yore.
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more.
Through the years we all will be together
If the Fates allow,
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.
And have yourself a merry little Christmas now.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
5:49 AM
Sunday, December 24
I've been to Bangkok many times. But I never knew there was a theme park called Dreamland. Hur, these are the kind of things you discover when you go on stupid package tours. Not that we actually made it to Dreamland. Because on that day, my entire family overslept by an hour,and kept the tour group waiting; we felt so bad we just told them to go ahead. Instead, we went shopping, ate at A&Ws, got stuck in a tuktuk in the middle of a massive jam, and then chilled at Khao San for the entire night. Which, in my opinion, is way more experiential. My sister got her hair braided, I got mine cornrowed and my brother gained brand new dreadlocks. Lol. It's all cool.
My family isn't cut out for tour packages. Firstly, we're always late. When the plane landed at the brand new Bangkok airport, my brother had a tummy ache. So we waited, and were last ones off the plane. When we got off, my mom and sister had to use the toilet. So we waited. Then on our way to immigration, my dad and I went to the toilet. By the time we got through immigration, we were like the last ones. Everyone gave us dirty looks. And thus marked the tone for the next few days.
Not that we felt very victimized. Because my family is also very obnoxious. My dad couldn't stand our tour guide and he bitched openly about it. Our tour guide sucked. He kept us waiting for 2 hours one morning, cos he got drunk the night before and was nursing a hangover. What the fucks. Some lady on the tour called back to Singapore to complain. Lol, my dad simply bitched louder about him. My dad also cannot speak mandarin. So he entertained himself during long bus rides by cracking spastic jokes to us. Yes, the famous five were laughing all the time at the back of the bus.
We also gave everyone names. There was 'The Conservative Family'; a group of 4 whom our family always eat with. They were so quiet. And because my dad is so clumsy and cartoon, they are forever shooting him disapproving looks. Like when he spilled chinese tea on the table. You should have seen the looks of horror on their faces when my dad and his '3 African children' boarded the bus. Haha really, there's nothing like public contemption to draw a family closer. Merry Christmas; I love you guys. The vacation was memorably weird. Memorable and rich in laughter and joy :]
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
11:08 AM
Tuesday, December 19
You remark that my accent's changed; 'almost like speaking to a different person'. You struggle to remember how you used to call me; 'distracted', 'crazy', 'adorable'. You say you're still the same, only work's a bitch. And that if I were still in Italy, I'd only see you during the weekends. I reply that if I were still in Italy, my Dad would be broke now. Then you laugh and ask if my shopping habits are still as 'horrible'. I confess that the frequency is less. But the intensity, greater. We laugh. You ask about my email; started probing as to whether I were amendable to rekindling the past. I duly nip it in the bud. You say also that you want to fly down to Thailand in February; 'Would you like to meet me there?' I tell you about being involved in Dance Production on the 16th of February, and you say, 'Great, after the 16th then.' Half an hour later, you tease me about sounding normal again, 'or maybe I'm getting used to your Singlish'.
Anyway,
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
2:21 AM
Monday, December 18
"It's the weather."
amandina* says:
i miss milan.
amandina* says:
like seriously.
amandina* says:
im reading all my old blog entries
amandina* says:
and I FUCKING MISS IT
Fucking disappointed in myself says:
its the weather..
amandina* says:
sighs.
Fucking disappointed in myself says:
what's your blog?
amandina* says:
raszgoddessed.blogspot.com
Fucking disappointed in myself says:
looks like Milan really had an impact on you
amandina* says:
it did.
Fucking disappointed in myself says:
looks like kenneth phua also had an impact on you
amandina* says:
. . .
amandina* says:
he did.
Fucking disappointed in myself says:
there are few people like that..who are able to leave their prints on your life.
amandina* says:
lol
amandina* says:
i've had the fortune of meeting a few.
Fucking disappointed in myself says:
i would seriously love to go to Milan one of these days, especially after hearing you say so much abt it
amandina* says:
lol.
amandina* says:
its not the city.
amandina* says:
its the people.
amandina* says:
and the standard of living.
amandina* says:
like u're really LIVING.
amandina* says:
smelling,tasting,breathing it. gah, im not helping myself.
Fucking disappointed in myself says:
hmm...trying to imagine..
Fucking disappointed in myself says:
lol.
Fucking disappointed in myself says:
u'll help me with my room rite?
amandina* says:
yeh lol.
Fucking disappointed in myself says:
make it nice and cosy..like yours.
amandina* says:
haha.
amandina* says:
shagadelic
I really do miss Milan. I miss the dirty little hatchbacks haphazardly parked outside our apartment. I miss hearing shrieky Italian voice recordings when I try to top up my Vodafone sim card. I miss having to remember to buy fags every Saturday night because everything's closed on Sunday, and the tobacco-vending machine near our place is faulty. I miss having Seb's cheery Mini beaming at me the minute I walk out the gate. I miss going to Esselunga and checking to see which exciting new stuffs are on promotion. I miss ordering Pizza from Slurp. I miss driving 25 minutes to the other side of town just to get sesame oil. I miss so many things about it, and it hasn't really hit me until today. Maybe Justin's right; maybe it's really the weather. But I'm so emo about it, that I sent Sebs a Merry Christmas (or Buona Natale) email 5 minutes ago. And this is the guy I very cruelly and unceremoniously dropped the minute my feet touched Changi.
Fucking disappointed in myself says:
lol. go there for your graduation trip.
amandina* says:
haha
amandina* says:
i cant.
amandina* says:
i broke a heart there.
amandina* says:
and milan = him.
amandina* says:
him = milan.
Fucking disappointed in myself says:
hmm..
Fucking disappointed in myself says:
i see..there's a story behind it.amandina* says:
there's always a story.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
3:15 AM
Sunday, December 17
Over tea last night, it struck me that having been away for a large part of 2006 leaves me curiously lost at the end of the year. As it draws to an end, it is startling to realize that I haven't been to East Coast Park at all. I haven't been to Balcony Bar either, and I was there all the time last December. I haven't even walked home from Tanah Merah MRT Station. I haven't seen my baby nephews, Raphael and the other one - I have even forgotten his name. Yes, I think I've changed. Maybe not so much from being away on exchange as having broken up with Zhenghao. I'm a whole lot of everything, and yet a whole lot less of everything. I count my blessings, and I send out thanksgivings all the time. But I do not stop for long to take stock, because happiness is a state of mind that I care not to pursue. And so on a night like this, I am struck by a sense of loss. And I just desperately wish for someone sturdy to carry me through the rest of 2006 and into 2007.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
10:14 PM
I have lost a bit of interest in blogging. Far too many read this; far too many who matter.
Go on now, move along. Move along. Shoo. Arrivederci e ci vediamo. Il dio li benedice.
Anyhow 2006 is almost over. My circa 2005 boobs were way more magnificentique.
And where is this nice top now? I have no idea. And soon it's time to welcome 2007.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
6:32 PM
Saturday, December 16
I just accidentally deleted my previous post, but while it was up for a short while, I discovered that Lionel and his cousin are Taureans too. I brightly suggested a "Taureans-let's-unite!" soiree, but I think Lionel found it a tad cheesy and dismissed me accordingly. But WHY! Do not diss the Zodiacs, I tell'ya. The stars work in mysterious ways.
THE TAURUS WOMAN
She is a da Vinci in the art of seduction. From her Mona Lisa smile to the sensual look in her eyes, she is a consummate mistress of love. However, she is not promiscuous and any hopeful male who picks up her seductive signal had better turn off his antenna if all he wants is a casual affair. Taurus woman is not a lady for a day, or even for a weekend. Her need is for security and stability, and casual is not a word in her vocabulary of love.
In many ways Taurus woman is the perfect personification of the old-fashioned woman, for she is devoted and protective, a natural earth mother who loves and nurtures and gives of her strength. She is also earth in her passions—once she falls in love. Being in love brings out the best in her. She isn't coy or provocative in a love relationship. She is open, affectionate, and demonstrative with the man she cares for.
If she loves you, nothing anybody can say against you will affect her in the slightest degree. She has a secure sense of her own judgment and her own needs, and she trusts her instincts. A passionate bed partner and a devoted mate, Taurus woman has a great deal to offer. But she demands a lot in return. She believes in giving her all and taking all she can get. No bargain hunters need apply.
She likes to be pursued and wooed—but is never really won. She makes up her own mind long before what you may consider the decisive moment. She plans ahead, for she doesn't believe anything should be left entirely to chance. The stage is set carefully. Every attention will be given to detail, for the woman born under this sign is marvelous at detail. While you preen yourself or your supposed conquest, she never lets you know that you never had a choice.
Taurus woman is a true romantic—serene, unaffected, sexy, artistic, good-natured, yet with elegance and taste. If you capture this woman's fancy, count yourself blessed.
And then..there's THE TAURUS MAN. You'll know who I'm talking about.
He won't sweep you off your feet and ride away with you into a crimson sunset. It's not that he's afraid to do that, it's just that the idea would never occur to him. *moment of realization* If his maiden fair were locked up in a tower, he'd be far more likely to call at the front gate to negotiate for her release. That's the sensible thing to do.
Above all, this man is sensible, down-to-earth and practical about love. In his approach to women he is deliberate, looking over the field before he decides. You won't find him trying to win the prize every other man is after. He wants a woman who will satisfy him for the long haul, not a glittering, chromium-plated model that's all too soon ready for the junkheap. He prizes security and stability. This is not to say he will turn down an invitation to a weekend frolic with a beautiful blonde. But scratch the surface and you'll uncover a man who doesn't want a relationship unless he thinks it's going to last. When it comes to his emotional life he can afford to be patient.
He is very sensitive to a rebuff, but is so good at concealing this that most women never suspect it. He may appear too stolid to be really sensitive, but his tough-looking hide is only tissue thin. it isn't always apparent at first meeting but in his own way Taurus is supremely romantic. He puts the woman he cherishes on a pedestal, though he certainly doesn't treat her like a statue. Unlike some men who have an idealized vision that they try to super-impose on a woman, Taurus loves the real you.
This man isn't able to say "I love you" as readily as the more verbal types such as Gemini or Libra, but he will show his devotion by being unexpectedly generous. Of course, his gifts won't be frivolous because he never loses sight of the value he gets for money spent. He's the kind of man who will buy you a single, high-priced piece of jewelry rather than a dozen gaudy trinkets.
Beneath a Taurus male's reserve is a passionate, highly physical nature. for him, romance and sensuality are practically interchangeable. Like his female counterpart, he is simple and direct about his sexual pleasures.
He sees no need for variations on the theme, but on the other hand, he has all the stamina a woman could ask for. His immense physical vitality more than makes up for any lack of variety. Here is a sensual, strong-willed, sensible man you can depend on. He's loyal, affectionate, kind, and faithful, with a fine understated sense of humor. A lot of women who are looking for Mr. Right need look no further than a Taurus male.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
10:44 PM
Friday, December 15
This is how I eat tang yuans.
I think to the right people, my extremely gross eating habits can even be considered endearing.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
6:24 PM
I think I'm jinxed. Last week I had a pimple so hideous, I had to speak to people with my hand covering half my face. Then Monday I fell sick. Wednesday I was still down with the flu. Thursday my right eye developed another stye. Today I have a full-fledged cough, a stye in my right eye and a chalazion in the left one. FUCKS. I think a trip down to YIH is in order. And it's so annoying that my parents refuse to get me glasses because I have wrecked at least 10 pairs in my life. Even when their daughter resembles a bullfrog, they continue insisting that it's due to bad sleeping habits and a poor diet. "Too heaty." What the fucks, seriously. All I want for Christmas is a pair of glasses.
And a MacBook. Haha.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
12:27 PM
Thursday, December 14
3 recurring thoughts tonight.
- WTFucks. Pffft. Yawn. Whatever.
- Thank you for taking me out to dinner.
- Oh I've missed you, Dennis.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
12:52 AM
Wednesday, December 13
My resume is officially reworked, because I decided to omit all the retarded pretentious crap that just sounds good on paper but doesn't mean a shit to me. Like being in NUSSU Bizcom. All I did in that club was feel discriminated against because I wasn't on the same wavelength as everyone else. And attending a marketing seminar? Fuck, all I did was sleep through a very self-fulfilling and egoistical presentation by Stanley, one of NUSSU's bright marketing 'sparks'. Hah. What did I add in? My babies. All the projects I'm proud of. My advertising campaigns for 3M. Rewriting my genealogy. If the folks up there think recompiling one is easy, they can go think again. I guess this is my way of staying true to myself while trying to pursue higher grounds. Slowly does it. I shall do one cover letter a day. Starting with Lehman Brothers today. You think they'll like me? Hahaha.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
1:37 AM
Tuesday, December 12
Satisfaction, like life, is a funny thing. You never know its limits; never know where it takes you. Only know it either sustains a megawatt smile on your face for 10 days running, or gnaws away at your heart and mind for eternity. But because there is no limit, you never reach that nirvana. That stage when you know for a fact that that's your highest point. So you keep reaching for more, and you compare all other future experiences with that highest point which is never to be recovered.
Silly innit?
If I could wish for a superhuman power, I would wish for the ability to foresee the future. Then I can map all the emotional troughs and crests and pinpoint that one highest peak. And once I've reached that point, I wouldn't budge. I wouldn't do anything wilful to change the course of my destiny. And I would be happy forever and forever, amen. How's that for controlling your destiny.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
1:30 AM
Monday, December 11
For those that matter:
Becky's Farewell Dinner
26th December 2006
Pagi Sore Indonesian Restaurant
88/90 Telok Ayer Street
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
11:12 PM
I am now officially the messenger between 2 of my friends who broke up
because of irreconciliable differences. I hate break-ups. I would do anything
to prevent them. That being said, dissatisfaction is not that easy to repeal.
I should know, I guess. It often gets me into Trouble.
And now I question if it's just a self-constructed ilk of malcontent.
If it's fair to let it unravel the pieces so carefully picked up before.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
2:31 AM
Sunday, December 10
But oh - today's a new day,
And new days call for new tales.
So away with brokeback males,
And welcome the lovely lady Cheryl :]
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
12:44 AM
Saturday, December 9
Some things are just so disturbing;
Like a very brokeback Tony Tiger.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
5:42 PM
Friday, December 8
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
6:40 PM
It's great having Cheryl back. So incredibly fucking great. Too bad the only picture I have of her is of her feet, because she doesn't feel too glamorous today. Lol. Her thongs are, though :]
I bought three dresses yesterday. All of them were black. What can I say? It's the season for partying and therefore, Little Black Dress. Not that anyone saw my favorite one last night; a dress so innocuous from the front - nobody would bother giving it a second look - that I had to resort to being very un-glam by doing the whole "Hey! Hey! Look at my new dress!" routine accompanied with a twirl so that the sexy backline can be appreciated in its full glory. And you see, I wasn't sober past midnight so that's only maybe 3 people I managed to show the dress off to.
According to Lionel, I chose the worst night to get wasted; the night where 'the whole NUS descends on Zouk'. And I seriously screwed myself over last night and no matter how I rationalize it, I can't. Or maybe I don't want to. I don't know. I'm just really sorry and honestly at this rate, I will never be able to shrug the tag off me. What tag? I don't know really, it's not like people tell me right in my face. But I gather it's something along the lines of
FirstClassBitch or maybe
ManEater or maybe
Heartbreaker. Whatever, they're all nasty anyways.
There must be something wrong with me. It's like I constantly chase trouble, almost as if I want more, more, more. Every part of my life needs to be good enough to inspire myself. School? It's ok to be ok, but I want
good grades. Food? It's purely sustenance, but I want to be
satisfied. Dinner and a movie? It's nice, but I'm not
thrilled. Comfortable conversation? It's nice, but I want to be
stimulated. The simple life? It's nice. . . and uncomplicated. . . but I just want more. More life, more passion. And then the paradox surfaces, because I really am a very simple person with very simple likes and dislikes. Maybe I just dream too big for myself. Or is an enriched, joyful life mutually exclusive from stability? Maybe I believe otherwise, that's why I continue searching.
Speaking of big, I have a really big zit on my nose that refuses to go down; bad karma is accumulating into this growth-like thing. Sigh, I think I really suck with apologies.
I'm sorry. Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
2:42 AM
Wednesday, December 6
A3 crosses the Causeway for cheap food, cheap movies and cheap shoes!!Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
2:45 AM
Tuesday, December 5
Maybe I'll never ever know, maybe that's exactly why they recur. At times they come twinged with an extra lethal and prolonged bout of contemplation, but the conclusions drawn are oft the same: you're too dear to me, and you're leaving. Haha, laugh yourself silly all you want, and - it will just simply (and naturally) fade into memory as one of the many obscure and random jokes we share. :]
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
3:12 AM
It's already the 5th here, but doesnt matter; it's still 9am over there and you just turned 21!!! Have a gorgeous 4th December in California, babe. And eat some Hot Pockets for breakfast for me ok? Xoxo.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
1:17 AM
Sunday, December 3
Decision Analysis.
Objective Function: To select a destination that maximizes the utility of each family member, while minimizing its total cost.
Subject to constraints:
An aged grandmother who cannot travel for too long to places too cold (Korea), too hot (Thailand), too inaccessible (Indonesia), too polluted (Hongkong), too communist (China), too . . . (infinite series} . . .
An impovertized father, caught between his budget ("Amanda, I challenge you: $450 per person") and his mother's preference for places like Australia and New Zealand.
A vegetarian mother - never underestimate the troubles of finding suitable makan for one.
A taciturn brother who hardly talks to anyone in the house unless he needs cigarettes from me, or money for cigarettes from my mother.
A gregarious sister who typically spends 99% of the vacation in the hotel room, eating instant noodles and channel-surfing; only the best hotels and resorts may apply.
I suggested Lombok. But somehow I cannot imagine my grandmother surfing on Indonesian waves. Or eating Nasi Padangs by the roadside. Or being carted around airports in Jakarta and Bali and then ferried over to Lombok itself. Neither my parents for that matter. .
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
1:42 AM
Saturday, December 2
Qinmei's birthday was a long, long time ago. (Feels like forever??) But it took me all of reading week and all of the first week of exams to get this from Carol. Lol, yearps. That's how hard A3 girls study.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
4:21 AM
Space Cowboy says:
babe
Space Cowboy says:
i think u are stressedYeh, I was. I was in crazy, defeatist mode. But I took a look at the past year papers and it's not all that un-do-able. Even though it's ironically disastrous that the LAST chapter of the NUS syllabus is the FIRST chapter of the Bocconi one. So yes, put together all the macroeconomic knowledge I've acquired over the past year, and I practically qualify to be an economics genius. So while having a shower, I gave myself a sexy, steamy pep talk; I have absolutely nothing to lose. And since when does Amanda give up!?! She's queen of scraping, if not sailing, through things. C'monnn. Just 6 hours more. You can catch up on sleep at noon tomorrow.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
2:09 AM
Friday, December 1
Investments Analysis
Human Resource Management.
Chinese Tradition.
Management Science.
Reproductive Health.
Macro-econo-fuck*face*shit-mics.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
9:06 PM
Pitch Black is this film cafe-cum-art gallery-cum-local music showcase-cum chillout space on Haji Lane. It is severely hip. We were all very impressed. Cheryl's friend, the birthday boy, was a candy-colored vision who wouldn't look out of place at an all-American diner. We too tried to dress up accordingly. Cheryl had a lovely monochrome shift on. I tied a scarf around my neck in an attempt to channel some 60's United Airways flight attendant (or so I hoped) aura. And Kenneth; the dear boy just mistook retro for cowboy. Lol. Midway, I had a visitor. Hello, we say as we settle against plump cushions at Ambrosia. Divine Pleasures amidst dim romantic lighting, the heavy lull of fans and the sweet oppression of sheesah clouds. What irony, I think to myself, that we should be having the most somber of conversations. Laughter, as mugs were raised; whispers as lovers bent their heads low. But us. Us, we talk of gloom and doom. An hour later, I stand small on the sidewalk, barely reaching his nose. My toes rise, and I reach to hug him goodbye. And I feel like I almost feel nothing; guilt and regret has always played a long catching-up game with me. 
I wish I wasn't the source of your Yuletide woe. 
My family isn't cut out for tour packages. Firstly, we're always late. When the plane landed at the brand new Bangkok airport, my brother had a tummy ache. So we waited, and were last ones off the plane. When we got off, my mom and sister had to use the toilet. So we waited. Then on our way to immigration, my dad and I went to the toilet. By the time we got through immigration, we were like the last ones. Everyone gave us dirty looks. And thus marked the tone for the next few days.
Anyhow 2006 is almost over. My circa 2005 boobs were way more magnificentique.
Pagi Sore Indonesian Restaurant
It's great having Cheryl back. So incredibly fucking great. Too bad the only picture I have of her is of her feet, because she doesn't feel too glamorous today. Lol. Her thongs are, though :]
A3 crosses the Causeway for cheap food, cheap movies and cheap shoes!!
It's already the 5th here, but doesnt matter; it's still 9am over there and you just turned 21!!! Have a gorgeous 4th December in California, babe. And eat some Hot Pockets for breakfast for me ok? Xoxo.
Qinmei's birthday was a long, long time ago. (Feels like forever??) But it took me all of reading week and all of the first week of exams to get this from Carol. Lol, yearps. That's how hard A3 girls study.