Friday, April 28
a million xoxos to my sister
who loves it when you call her nali,
who wears my wardrobe ad nauseum
back in the sunny ol island of singapore
who cheered me up immensely today.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
8:54 PM
w i s h l i s t.
tod's spring/summer 06 keyring. 
fourth of july dress from anthropologie.Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
12:01 PM
my doggie says hi. hi natasha! she misses you. you were suppose to meet me coincidentally while i was walking her. yes i was :] so we could secretly meet and go somewhere. but you didnt. haha. you cancelled me, and my dog of course.
i dont really like other people cos i think they are hell. i think alot of people are caught up in their own fucked up world, and like to burden it onto others, who also have their own fucked up world to deal with. but they dont care, or do it, not realising they are actually pissing other people off. i dont like pretentious people. i like people who know what suffering is. i like people who smoke. i like u. =]
i like to sit at home. and listen to melancholic music. and think bout the insanity the world is living in. like juicy? what does it sound like? it sounds stupid. just the chorus , its really enticing.
someone once told her friends this. she told them, try not to fall in love with dennis, (like LOVE LOVE), because it will end up bad for you. she said, its okay to be close to him, but never ever close to that extent. thats what i meant when i said its dangerous to like u.
that very same woman, once asked me, would i be the father to her child. but she's contradicting herself. why? im guessing, love/hate relationship. and we were just friends. like really just friends. not even like me n you. didnt you ask her why? she said cause i'll make the perfect father.
so why cant u ever like me, like me? i figured it was a bad idea. do u ever feel that u can, harbour the feeling of love/like in you, for me. no, i wouldnt allow myself to. but what if one day, u did feel it? or perhaps, not love, but a strong sense on infatuation. what then?
u make it sound like i would cause massive damage to u were u to fall in love with me. like, i'm one big fat bomb. lol u are! i would be a nervous wreck if i fell in love with u. but what if i fall in love with u. then what am i suppose to do? would u ever want me to? would u ever want yourself to?
as always, flabbergasting.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
4:29 AM
Thursday, April 27
click here for pbase.Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
11:59 PM
italy = good pasta = voluptuous women = great cooks, no? well not if you're in milan. nobody's fat and pasta isnt that great to begin with. which is why heading down for sicily was the most beautiful and fulfilling italian experience ever; all i imagined it to be, and perhaps a little more even.
we flew into catania and was welcomed by a massive wave of popularity in association with 'grande fratello 3'. some background history: grande fratello is the italian version of big brother. in season 3, there was an asian character called man lo and she must have been rather well-known because even back in milan, there would be the occasional few who would yell 'manlo manlo!' at me while im crossing the street. and in catania, it seemed like the whole city were fans of the show. and we were kinda permanently addressed by 'manlo, manlo!' for much of the duration of our stay there. lol.
we then made our way to lipari by way of messina and this. is. where. i fell. completely. in. love. with coasts. azure oceans. pulmice beaches. fishermen. seafood. boats. close-knit communities. and the whole simple island-life ideal. this is also where i wanted to hide away in for the rest of my life. marry a local and i dont know, become the most dedicated housewife on the island or something. but after having been invited to dine with 3 different italian families, i can only conclude that being a good mamma and wife and a spectacular cook, host and housekeeper, is not easy at all. and to speak the truth, i hardly think i would be able to handle it capably.
the original plan was to stay on lipari for one day only, but one look at the clear skies and neverending stretch of seas and we were already dialling ahead to palermo, wondering if we could cancel one night's stay to stay on the island one extra day. it made me very happy (because i wanted to work on my tan), and van too (because she wanted to trek up stromboli) but it seemed to please our 2 new friends the most! (we gathered as one of them jumped up and down to thank the heavens). this was when we discovered that italian island boys literally wear their hearts on their sleeves.
another point in case: within a day, i was francesco's amore already - which makes me a fisherman's amore! how cool is that!! (im sure zh wouldnt appreciate this 'cool' factor), but zipping around the island on the back of a vespa with a super attentive italian man who serenades you while cornering the cliff bend is just one of those elusive moments in life you cant miss.
on the other hand, things can go horribly wrong as jia discovered. the next day, both of us were invited to francesco's mom's place for lunch (where we were duly overfed heaps of pasta and 3 different kinds of meat) and she managed to charm francesco's brother, marco. he kept telling her that she was very 'sympatica' which we think is something good. me and jia were doing quite a bit of guesswork that afternoon, because van and jz had gone off to climb stromboli. we also kind of gathered that we were all supposed to go off to the beach together after lunch - but we gathered wrong. marco had a more sinister idea; he wanted to take jia to some isolated spot on the cliffs where he told her that kissing him would make him a very happy man.
at which, she got horrified and made an sos phonecall to vanessa in stromboli who made another sos call to giuseppe who then rang francesco up, who was already at the beach with me. so there i was, wondering when jia would arrive when francesco started to get all worked up, calling his brother names like 'bastardo' and 'bruto'. despite my highly limited vocabulary i gathered that marco had been 'disrespectful' to jia and that giuseppe was on his way to rescue her. seriously, you have no idea how alarmed i got. and this was when my 'con amica' hysterics began.
first i was waiting for them to show up, but they were taking a while. so i started wailing on and on that 'io preferisco con amica' or 'i preferred to be with my friend'. phonecalls were made, and jia was promptly delivered to me at the beach. when i heard her story, i decided that perhaps we should stay away from these locals. so i launched into part ii of the 'con amica' story. i turned to francesco and emphatically told him, 'io preferisco solo cena con amica' or 'i prefer to have dinner with my friend only.' his face turned sullen and at the back of my mind, i wondered if offending a fisherman was a good idea.
we spent an enjoyable day at the beach, but mostly everything was lost in translation. example: jia tries to tell franceso that she's afraid of her brother. but we didnt know the italian word for scared. so she points to me and declares me godzilla. i nod vigorously and proceed to scare her. she squeals. i point back at her (fearful) expression. both men look back at me cluelessly and ask, 'arriabata?' ('angry'). uhhh, welllll - not exactly... haha.
when it was time to leave, i worried that jia would be abducted again. so i kept declaring loudly that 'io sempre con amica' or 'i must always be with friend'. so before going off on our respective bikes, we agreed that we would meet back at our hotel to bathe and wash up. but then halfway, francesco stopped at a gelato parlor and said that we were supposed to meet jia and giuseppe here. i panicked and kicked up a big fuss and insisted that nooooooo, io had to meet mio amica in a casa. so we rode back to the hotel but voila - no one was there! a second phonecall confirmed that they were indeed at the gelato place. gee, francesco threw me a 'i told you so look' and i must have sounded rather loopy cos after that he consistently told me that everyone in lipari was 'tranquile' and i should be too. ha.
in the end, francesco went up to jia, apologized for his brother's bad behavior and asked if he could take us both out for dinner since it was our last night in lipari. whilst blabbering away in mangled italian during dinner, me and jia realized that our command of italian had improved tremendously in the short span of time that van our translator had left us. really, if i'd wanted to brush up on my italian, i would go back to lipari where people dont care if you understand or not; they just rattle on and on and on before rounding off with a 'capisce?' (understand?) :]
when jz and van finally come back, we all had a good laugh over our 'con amica' hysterics. in addition to my apparent obsession with always being with jia, i had also expressed worry about van and jz several times during dinner. 'quando tempo mio amici ritornare a lipari?' or 'what time will my friends be returning?' all of us have no doubt that we will forever be immortalized in liparian fable as the loopy singaporean girls who wouldnt stop worrying about their amici.
the next morning, i truly did feel a slight regret at having to leave lipari. i would have loved to spend an entire week on lipari where everybody seems to know everybody! the next day we left as silently as the morning breeze; francesco said he wanted to send me off with a 'grande baci' but our hydrofoil left earlier than expected so by the time he called me, i was already in palermo. i wonder if he thinks we lied about our departure times.
they really are a sweet bunch of folks, albeit being a bit too forthcoming sometimes. but perhaps that is what we need! a jolt of unconditional hospitality, warmth and friendliness to wake us up from the city syndrome.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
5:44 AM
Thursday, April 20
the mediterranean and the aeolian islands. lemons, olive trees and wine. aquamarine coastlines and mount etna. the godfather and la mamma. hearty sicilian fare and panama shades for the afternoons. yay paradiso! :]
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
11:13 PM
"Before my eyes
the Danube follows its eternal course
and the gleam of the evening sun
is caught by its waves."
Gustav Mahler
the allure of the danube rouses from the black forest in germany, charts a magnificent passage into eastern europe, all before culminating in the black sea in romania. bratislava straddles both banks of the danube with its graceful old town as its heart. old, peeling, quiet and unspectacular. yet dreamy and a faint whisper of a grander past.
while vienna, just 50 km away, bridles with the hauteur of having once been the seat of the great austrian, and later, the austro-hungarian empire. not forgetting an ill-repressed perennial fascination with mozart and sissy.
after the schonbrunn palace, i think we all started to get churched-and-castled out. seriously, we've been spoilt. every statue we see, we think we've seen something similar. every church we enter, looks exactly the same. you get the idea. which probably explains our excitement when we finally saw something without gothic spirals and frescos - the hundertwasser haus!
this austrian artist believes that straight lines are evil - and why not? im all for a topsy-turvy curly-wurly state of reality. so he designed some buildings and monuments which come complete with swirly floors.
also straddling the danube is budapest with the royal buda castle district on one side, and the cosmopolitan commercial hub across the river on pest. while touted as the paris of central europe, i much prefer to call it the bangkok of europe. gritty, real and alive. a sensory overload without being prague-beautiful or vienna-ornate.
the earthy smells remind me of a magyan history some 2000 years ago. the castle labyrinths hark back to ancient origins some half a million years ago.
but emerge from the labyrinths and its vibrant face catapults you instantly; away from reveries into bustling times with a curious turn-of-the-century feel.
plus my fears about travelling alone were completely unfounded. save for the first night when i felt all sorry for myself at having to eat dinner all alone, of course. the next day dawned bright and sunny, and i had two other fellow travellers to sightsee with.
cheers to tomoko and shingo! :]
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
3:42 PM
goodness i randomly took a test..
and im living in a city that im supposed to be living in!!
You Belong in Milan
Stylish and sophisticated, you want to enjoy a truly European life - away from tourists! Milan fits you perfectly. Great shopping, high quality food, lots of culture... with very little hype.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
12:18 AM
Wednesday, April 19
kill me please; its 21 degrees and im dying of heat. school was so empty, i think everyone ran off to the beaches or something. i think when we get down to sicily, i can finally get a tan and sweep off my 'miss tofu' moniker.
anyways. only in italy, do the professors describe grades as 'votes'. as in like, "if you have insufficient votes for your partial exam, you have to take the general paper in june."
also only in italy, do group project meetings proceed as follows: 6 people meet. everyone asks each other how they are. (typical.) first person starts reading out everything from the part he was supposed to write. multiply that by 6 because everyone seems to want to practice reading their own parts. random discussions break out moving from ducati (italian motorbikes) to ferrari (association: vehicles) to gucci (association: exclusivity) to hot women drivers (association: what makes a car hot). time flies, and we've accomplished nothing more than tweaking grammar.
finally only in italy, does the professor skip class. seems like since there's only 2 proper days of school between the easter break that just went by and the national holiday that's coming up, most of the students wont show, and hence neither should he too. lol.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
11:17 PM
Tuesday, April 18
bottle of dove shampoo with my carta fidaty: 1.79 euro. popping out to the supermarket in just a tank and the teeniest slip of a cardigan: priiiceless!!! im half beside myself now in joy at the prospect of steady streams of good sunny days forecasted ahead. in fact, i wanna strip down and camp out on my balcony for the rest of the afternoon.
boredom = photoshop paradise
which might be a good way to while my day away by myself while waiting for my lovely roommates to arrive back from munich. i so have no idea how much groceries to buy for two days. a pack of zucchini is definitely unfinishable in two days, and so is a pack of tomatoes. because we will all be taking off again for sicily on friday: will we be able to finish up a pack of mushrooms by then? or a carton of milk? or yogurt? questions, question - but no fresh food answers. plus i hate canned food or stale carbohydrates. best thing i can do now is to wait for their wise advice while i eat cereal for the fifth meal running.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
10:40 PM
should i cut bangs?
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
2:30 AM
Monday, April 17
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
9:55 PM
back! i LOVED budapest. it was dirty, cheap, real and alive. and i met cool jap people who were solo travellers too. one has been to nepal, tibet, india and all these exotic places and im seriously in awe. the other guy was a breakdancer. (cheryl are you listening? jap bboys - your favorite!!!) really, it is much like the bangkok of europe. oh and happy easter all!
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
12:07 AM
Tuesday, April 11
we will be decamping from the piccolo greenhouse for a week for:
bratislava and
vienna. then i'll head on to
budapest and they to
prague and
munich.
ciaociao and godspeed!
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
5:16 PM
i see birthday pictures filled with shiny, happy people,
and i wish i was celebrating my 21st with all the people i love.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
12:53 AM
Sunday, April 9
yesterday night, drank: a mojito. damage: 107 calories.
unpleasant remark: now you're one of his toy girls.
firstly, i did not appreciate that very much. secondly, hell - ever heard of friendship? thirdly, is it concern or nosiness? i much prefer to call on my own judgement rather than listen to rumors proliferated by 10 gazillion others.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
5:40 PM
lionel said im fatter now, so pardon me while i launch into helpless calorie-infused hysterics, partly fuelled by the fact that there is really nothing to do in milan at night, except eat drink and make merry. i miss being skinnnnny!!! albeit the occasional hunger pangs, and the unhealthiness of meal-replacement cigarettes, i mostly felt wonderrrfully light, wonderfulllly unhealthy and wonderfulllly malnutritioned.
but now, i look 'healthier', 'less skinny', 'better', - all of which are euphemistic ways of saying i've grown fatter and i so am not impressed with my new-found healthiness at all!! boohoo. thank you van, for spending the entire afternoon listening to me bitch about my weight and swear off alcohol for at least 2 weeks. thank you also for not somewhat rolling your eyes, when at 8pm i pranced off for yet another drink, just 2 hours after i swore off alcohol.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
5:02 PM
Friday, April 7
the difference between european men and singaporean ones, is that perhaps the former never ever worry about appearing girly. there we were at alchimia, a gorgeous bar that resembles a living room of some extraordinarily rich quirk, sinking into huge leather couches around a little coffee table. soon the waiter arrives, and the two guys order a strawberry daiquiri and a cosmopolitan. i think of the guys i know in singapore - and not one, would ever, ever order a cocktail.
zh for one, always falls in love with the cocktails i get. but he refuses to get one for himself because its 'way too girly'. similarly my dad would never be caught dead with a pink/red/blue/green drink. and kenneth phua...he just drinks the same gross green-tea-whiskey all the time. i asked emmanuel, isnt the cosmopolitan a drink for girls? he tells me that he loves the history of the drink (what history!?) and besides, it tastes good. o-kay. lol, i had a mojito by the way - not pink nor red, save for a tiny little cherry as garnish.
anyways, one thing good about being in milan is that when someone says you're stylish, you can take it with more than a pinch of salt. yay! :D the huge shopping bills i've racked up are justified!! lol.
one more thing, do check
this out. the photographer has done an exquisite job in infusing love into his work. and he is so very humble, which makes the simplicity of emotions in his work even more touching. i sat in front my laptop for hours, half wanting to cry at the beauty of it all.
one last thing, lynn's stalker. ha-ha. completely spiced up my yesterday!
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
6:35 PM
Thursday, April 6
the 7 deadly sins of 'surprisingly simple' tempura.
stir the batter with a fork. oops.
do not over-stir. this will prevent the batter from forming glutin and making tempura heavy and soggy. oops, we were going stir-happy with the batter.
do vegetables first, then fish. oops, how were we to know!?
do not put too many vegetables in the pot at one time as this will lower the temperature of the oil and make the tempura soggy. oops, i vaguely recall the astronomical dumping of eggplant slices into the pot.
ensure the fish is sufficiently thawed as freezing causes ice crystals to form which leads it to 'break up' during the frying process. oops.
do not let it sit too long in the oil. double double oops.
dip the tempura quickly and avoid lengthy soaking in the dipping sauce. ok, this one applied to me only. i practically drowned them.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
7:25 PM
Wednesday, April 5
goodgod. international banking is freaking im po ssi ble. i kid you not; im telling everyone that sitting for my midterm is not even a logical possibility, but they're like, just study! just go! but logically, i will most definitely fail, for i havent even covered session 5 and there are like 11 sessions in total. logically i will fail also because my head is swimming with all sorts of parities, all sorts of cursive 'i's that mean all sorts of different things and real/monetary/nominal/whatnot rates. in fact, since when has the fisher equation been enlarged to encompass 20 slides worth of derivatives and foreign exchange implications? haiyooooooooo. depressed, depressed. and the weather is bleak outside: 7 - 10 degrees with light rain. i should just screw the paper, but then i would have then wasted the entire night's worth of studying. or i could just limit my losses and give up now.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
5:06 PM
Tuesday, April 4
tagged by deb like a gazillion years ago lol. but i only just realised..
so here's how it goes...name five of life's simple pleasures that you like most, then pick five people to do the same. try to be original and creative and not use things that someone else has already used.
here's hers - meeting up with my girlfriends and yackking (yakking?) the night away, picnics with my dear, teaching a kid something new (in Sunday school), snuggling up in bed with a good book, buying presents (i.e. shopping for other people = licence to shop/guiltless shopping)
and mine? - (i actually think the things i like arent very simple. e.g. travelling - too expensive, shopping - too expensive, fancy-pancy cocktails - too act-up, etc. lol!) - sitting down for coffees with my girls and people-watch away, stealing away for midnight suppers back in singapore with zh, smoking beneath a floodlight so the smoke swirls around so prettily, witnessing friendships with some people blossom from acquaintanceship into something more soulful, and finally, the feeling of the sun on my face.
so now i tag.. cheryl, lynn, zh, van and natalie! :]
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
8:23 PM
my all time favorite boyfriend.
zh msns, 'hey my all-time favorite gf!' amanda gets suspicious, 'you must have done something wrong..' zh cheekily replies, 'the only thing i have done wrong is loving you.' *music soars in the background* amanda half smiles, 'you must have definiiiiiitely done something wrong..' zh changes tack, 'quick darl, go to victoria's secret. i'll buy you a dress!' *end of suspicion and discussion* amanda gets excited, 'really ahhh!!! okokok i go look now...lol!' *sends him like 5 links for dresses, and a couple more for tops in case her bf decides to be extra generous*
unfortunately, vs is a little disastrous at supply management. they are back-ordered till june for two of the dresses i wanted. gah. but its ok, zh says to shop around online till i find the one i want. :D :D :D arent i lucky? ha-ha.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
5:33 PM
Monday, April 3
in short - matieka praha. prague is prague is by the most romantic city i've seen. dark, sexy and seductive. with the most fantastic food, the most amazing architecture, the grandest cafes and teahouses. the only thing that disappointed was prague castle. i much preferring losing myself in the meandering alleys lit up by antiquated street lamps, chancing upon curious little shops and exclaiming at every little steep cobbed lane that stretched ahead around each corner.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
10:49 PM
in short - rome, the eternal city. una vita non basta. you've heard it all before; you've read all about it before in dan brown. lol. historical and inspiring, yes. but also compleeeetely over-touristed and positively milling with pickpockets. perhaps the least magical city i've visited thus far.. we strongly recommend however, pizzeria da baffetto. its really really really good and there are hoardes of people queuing outside on any given day. it was sooo good that we went back twice, in the 2 days we were there!
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
10:17 PM
ah. a cigarette and my textbook; someone commented that i never talk about studying. well - here is it: its a fucking chore :[ it always conspires that on all nice days, complete with blue skies and temperatures between 15 - 20, i have to stay in and study! bah.
well
comunque (thats italian for
anyway), all my photos are finally up on pbase :D that has 2 implications. 1, i no longer will be distracted by photos while studying and 2, its time for another trip! lol. click
here for my pbase! :]
im heading to bratislava and vienna from the 11th to the 14th, at which ej and van will be heading on to prague while i attempt to get back to milan. my lonely options are - take a 14-hour, 64-euro bus ride from vienna back to milano, or a 28-euro bus to krakow for and fly back at 60 euros, or a 20-euro bus to budapest and fly back at 90 euros. im leaning towards buda and pest.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
6:03 PM
Sunday, April 2
footnotes.
so i went to a house party in monza with sebastian, and it was...interesting. first, i had the best tiramisu and according to eduardo, you have to let it rot in the refridgerator for at least 3 days for the full flavor to come out.
second, a great debate on beauty and perception. the story goes: there's this korean girl in bocconi that sebastian's friends recently met. so they think she's hot, and he thinks she is completely not hot. when they met me, they thought she was more attractive than i was. and sebastian was shocked, because i guess he thought i was prettier than she was. therein lies his confusion, because isn't beauty grounded in at least some kind of minimal consensus? and his friends' opinions were entirely entirely opposite from his. so do asians and caucasians judge oriental beauty differently? or can perceptions differ so greatly? more importantly, is he the only idiot on earth who thinks im pretty? in my opinion, i think i straddle the grey area between pretty and not, and hence its easy to go either way in terms of evaluation. i must admit that i was pretty mortified that someone flatly says im not as attractive. even though i realize that in all honesty i am really not that good-looking. dont worry, my ego is not that badly bruised, i think. lol.
third, italians kiss a lot. and they take ages to say goodbye. i think we stood around for at least half an hour, cheek-kissing and saying goodnight. imagine 12 people, and imagine the cheek-kissing permutations going on. i actually kissed everyone in that house goodnight once. sometimes more, because we've forgotten who we've kissed. and let's not forget the cheek-kissing rounds that goes on at the start of the night.
fourth, stockings are a bitch. i ruined my fifth pair tonight. boo hoo.
Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.
8:50 AM
tod's spring/summer 06 keyring. 
fourth of july dress from anthropologie.
click here for pbase.
the mediterranean and the aeolian islands. lemons, olive trees and wine. aquamarine coastlines and mount etna. the godfather and la mamma. hearty sicilian fare and panama shades for the afternoons. yay paradiso! :]
