Tuesday, January 31

i kinda forgot to mention that im flying to los angeles this week because

in his drunken stupor, zh asked me to fly down during my break
in his stupid drunken stupor, he offered to pay for all my expenses there when he sensed my hesitation
in his very stupid drunken stupor, he got miffed when i hesitated further and of course that made me feel a little guilty because after all, he was flying over in march to visit me, so why couldnt i.
so im flying down, at 600 euros. yawn, yawn. 600 euros and 15 hours away. when im in the glorious grand dame of all continents! what am i doing!? this is fucking insane.
he says we're going to stay in revamped trailers in arizona. hot, dry deserts - wha? hahahaha.
krispy kremes. i've got orders for 3 dozen already.
touring spain for 10 days would cost more than 600 euros. and since zh says he's paying for all my expenses, i reckon im actually going to save some money here. *evil grin*
he has a finance mid term. i dont care, i dont care, i dont care. im dragging him on road trips with me!

read about his very, very stupid drunken stupor here. this relationship we have ah, is proving to be very expensive. lol. i fly there, he fly here. thats like 3000 sing dollars just to see each other every now and then.

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

10:27 PM

if you're going for exchange, make sure you learn how to cook. because if you cook well, i swear, everybody will clamor to be asked over for dinner/lunch and thereafter, shower you with never-ending praise. for chu xi we went to jac and meimei's place and here's what we had:

thai papaya salad
bak kut teh pork ribs
chinese cabbage in oyster sauce
stewed beef with mixed vegetables
steamed egg a la chawanmushi
minced pork with seaweed

both of them had to (modestly, i hope) wave away heaps of accolades for like an entire hour before the conversation topic moved elsewhere. then from across the dinner table, i noticed the honkies' eyes starting to glaze away at the thought of having to cook a chu yi lunch the next day that will surpass or at least meet the standards set that night. true enough the next day, the exotic multi-course hongkong-esque chapalang meal they presented to us was so damn fine, the accolades went on for about two hours. most memorably, the dian zi they hand-rolled from rice flour for the red bean soup was mind-blowing.

kebab appetizers
deep-fried bread sticks
stir-fried pasta and beef
ham-and-cheese french toast
hongkong-styled chicken congee
roast chicken stuffed with glutinous rice
red bean soup with dian zi
potato chips
cookies

and now that we have moved into our apartment, hereby nicknamed the 'greenhouse' because of its horrendous green color theme, we cooked our first meal today! or rather, van and i went to the esselunga superstore to buy pillows while eejia stayed home to bake pasta or something like that. we're not sure. neither of us can cook so when eejia says she needs to cook, we just let her. lol. me, im only the insignificant salad woman. so by the time we got back, there was food all prepared and laid out already. shiok, shiok. so our tiny little inaugural dinner commenced but halfway through, our landlord came in to repair our beds, giving van a heart attack in the process because he sorta tramped right through our bedroom in his boots.

verdict: the baked pasta a little tasteless, the soup a little too peppery. but haha, what the hell. we had fun :] so after dinner we suddenly realized that all three of us were leaving on friday for our ten-day break so we decided to take out all the beef and zucchini and carrots and fresh mushrooms and tomato paste and re-fry the leftovers into cold pasta for lunch the next day.

lol. only the second time we're cooking and already, our culinary skills are improving! it was so tasty! i mean, i didn't cook la. im only the salad and dishwashing woman. eejia is the designated cook. van is the washing lady; in fact she's currently playing tug-of-war with the washing machine door. i think we're going to work out just fine. :]

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

8:06 PM

Monday, January 30

van, eejia and i

began the year of the dog

by eating. and eating. and eating.

we couldnt help it!

everyone was cooking and having us over,

and trying to outdo each other with their fantastic cooking.

and since our apartment is still pretty much in shambles,

we had an excuse not to cook,

but every reason to eat, eat and eat.

(and besides i think eejia's cooking still cannot make it lol.)

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

10:48 PM

it snowed all weekend and left the streets of milan looking like a war-torn zone. there was grey sludge everywhere and people were rushing to the supermarkets to restock up on groceries for the weekend. snowed-in cars and shoppings carts littered the sidewalks, and after the snow, people came out to sing and play with liberated expressions that isn't unlike the aftermath of a bombing or something. me is tropical girl at heart. where is the sun!

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

10:30 PM

Friday, January 27

its snowing, its snowing!

its going to be a snowy chinese new year!

now for some ma la steamboat.

slurp.

snow, snow, snow. it snowed all day! right from when i woke up to when i went to bed. and today, its even heavier! at first it was pretty and nice, but now its just muddy and slushy and muddy and we're sliding all over the shop. brr. happy chinese new year everybody!

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

7:41 PM

the other night, lena and trin - a couple of anglo-fied asians - had us over for some fantastic home-cooked dinner. you will not believe how fishballs and celery tossed in light sauce and sesame oil can taste so good. or cabbage and mushrooms. or bits of beef with zucchini, carrots and broccoli. all of us just sat there in prayerful silence at the sight of long slender grains of rice (as opposed to risotto) and tossed vegetables (as opposed to cheese and tomatoes). it was just too good.

speaking of vegetables, think i am nearing the point of being vegetarian. i mean, i have always obsessed inanely over salads, but this takes the cake: i am dreaming of salads at night! im not joking! two nights in a row, ive been going to bed hungry; thinking how nice it would be to have a salad before bed. then at night, i have dreams about the salad. and in the morning, im all happy because at lunchtime im going to devour a salad. then all morning in class, im happily anticipating lunch break, because then i can have my salad. and once ive had it, i still wonder if i should have another one. obsession of ridicule.

another unhealthy obsession? the duomo. its so pretty, but im there every day after school not for the cathedral really, but rather the shopping. hur hur. my latest purchase is the sweetest pair of skinny skinny jeans from miss sixty!! they are so gorgeous and they set me back 140 euros. but i stopped converting a long time ago, so yknow. its only 130 bucks! lol. and i think the salad obsession is paying off because im now a size 24 in skinnies. whee :P

went to casablanca again for food and drinks last night. i think i had 20 balls of mozzarella bufala which is the greatest type of cheese ever invented. yuliana is going to be my rome or spain traveling partner. we havent decided between both options nor booked tickets yet, because every time we're supposed to meet up to discuss something, we end up either (a) shopping or (b) going for apperitivos or (c) going somewhere to dance.

zh is arriving on the 10th of march to wallop those dastardly brazilians all the way back to san paolo. (he says.) and he claims he's been working out every day (working out!? zh!?! ha ha.) so i reckon he's going to arrive in milan looking like a typical himbo californian boy. lol, he denies it vehemently but i think the vanity of hollywood is getting to him. lol muacks. then we're meeting his german boyfriend who's going to show us around germany and then whisk us off to amsterdam where we can get illegal. not that legalism isnt a strong suit of milan. ive been smelling weed everyday in my corridors for weeks and i had some last night and it was hilarious.

after amsterdam, we're going to head down to prague and then romania by train, because it sounds far-flung and exotic and best of all, lonely planet says we can get by with 10 to 15 euros a day! that is so sweet. and i guess somewhere we'll try to fit venice in, because its romantic and every one of us needs to schedule a gondola ride somewhere in our lifetime :]

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

6:54 PM

Tuesday, January 24

on the upside,

im getting used to the cold :] :] in fact i can sleep without socks now! and yesterday i found the cutest pizza parlor that has cartoon characters on its takeaway boxes. plus chinese food is relatively cheap here and my favorite citta del drago cinese ristorante davide is just a skip and a hop away. and my italian's getting better so much so that i can understand the local students and help them translate things into english pretty decently, and when i lost my room keys while out shopping, i was later able to successfully explain myself to the cute old man at the pensionato who then provided me with a spare. and believe it or not, the capuccinos seem to be getting bigger. and zh is coming soon :] :] :] you wouldnt believe how exciting it is to spend 15 minutes deciding between prague and vienna. and for the february break, i've also decided to head down to rome with a group of girls. (im kinda anti men now.)

and me, ej and van cannot wait to move into our apartment where we're going to cook dinner every night. since i cant cook, im in charge of ensuring that everyone has their daily fill of contorno (vege-tables!!) its this really tiny tiny tiny tiny place, and three of us are squeezing into a bedroom which is one and a half times the size of the rooms back in eusoff. and we have a tiny kitchen which is what you step into once you open the doors. and you gotta climb up 6 flights of stairs just to get to our apartment (there's no elevator.) but its our place, and its got an adorable little balcony which is set to become my space. moving date: 1st feb!!

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

12:31 AM

Monday, January 23

italians are very fond of accosting you in clubs by reaching out for your hand which forces you to stop and pivot around in your tracks. they then lean in to air-kiss, cheek-kiss, hand-kiss and what not, and of course introduce themselves, followed by the requisite compliment they are so adept at dispensing. but nevermind; because its all in the harmless name of fun and flirting and because these were strangers. doesnt really matter.

what really got to me, was friday night at a posh club in town. what really got to me, was being completely insulted by a certain brazilian guy, who lives just across me, whom i had thought was a real cool hippie traveler, whom i used to talk about bossa nova till late into the night, who mix caipirinhas for me and with whom i ate dinner with thrice a week.

i fucking thought he was a real nice guy, until he immemorably hauled me onto the dance floor, grabbed me by my hair, bit me on my right cheek, bit me on my neck, slipped his finger into the loops of my denims and tugged my jeans up real hard, spun me around fecklessly, attempted to get his hands into my pants, wouldnt let me go, grabbed my hand and placed it on top of his crotch. i was humiliated on the dance floor and i could not escape. he just wouldnt let me. he just tossed me around viciously and endlessly and most likely, he was imagining himself to be some kind of passionate Casanova.

it is impossible to describe that eternity of time, when you're all alone on a crowded dance floor. when you're looking up at a familiar face that is smiling while his hands crawl over you. when everybody's smiling and laughing and you're just shocked and numb.

you just wanna cry.

but i didnt, and for some real fucked up reason, i remained civil and polite as i excused myself to the ladies, all the while plastering a smile on my face. then i learnt that the other girls were facing the same situation so we banded together and demanded that giovanni drive us home. soon as i entered my room, i collapsed into bed sobbing and feeling like the foulest piece of shit on earth. is it a culture clash, i.e. are the brazilians just completely without respect for women. or did i just come face to face with a big fat brute who was getting a little bit too personal.

even as i sent out a late night sos back to singapore, he came back to look for me; knock, knock, knocking on my door. when i refused to answer, he turned the handle. thank god i locked it. then he rang me on the intercom, and further demanded i come out and smoke with him. but i didnt come out; not till i fell asleep at 6am and woke up at 11am to vanessa's knocking. she was coming to rescue me from my own corridor and the bandits that reside on it.

i think clubbing has lost quite a bit of its lustre for me. and im all ready to move out of the pensionato into the tiny squashed apartment in which only the balcony is solely my space.

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

11:46 PM

Saturday, January 21

im cold. january 29, 30 and 31 are known as the giornate della merla (days of the blackbird) and are supposed to be the coldest of the year. february is corto e maledetto (short and accursed) and can be almost as cold as january. if i can say anything with certainty, it will be im fucking desperate to escape to somewhere warmer during my 10-day break in february. my options are, sicily and naples, spain or greece. but its kinda retarded to go spain and greece when its cold there too. i mean, its the greek isles! its ibiza! i should reserve it for a season that will do it justice.

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

1:45 AM

Thursday, January 19

taxi blues, just right around the corner :]

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

1:21 AM

the aspiration moment is really what drives the italian economy. their percentage of gdp coming from premier fashion goods is more than that of automobiles for germany and electronics for japan. imagine if nobody aspired for this made in italy tag. imagine if nobody hankered for status, beauty and workmanshoip. imagine if there was no concept of la dolce vita or seasonal anxiety attacks triggered of by catwalk collections. this country might just exist as some sort of a pomodoro and olive oil paradise.

this whole concept of beauty is so exquisitely ingrained in society here that there's never anything that looks out of place. even the grafitti looks kinda nice and is mostly restricted to the first level of every ancient-looking building. lol. i guess they cannot be bothered with the ugly skyscrapers of today, not that there are many around in the first place.

this is the piazza del duomo and last saturday it was completely packed with old men and ladies who were part of some kind of organized protest against something (i didnt quite know what lol) and i guess it was a very peaceful protest because towards evening, they all put down their flags and started dancing to retro italian music. haha.

galleria vittorio emanuele II which houses prada. cheryl, your domain. lol :]

but that being said, perhaps beauty has to co-exist with the most painful sort of bureaucracy. i mean, there are italian visas; why do they still require us to obtain permissions to stay? and if the government know there is a demand for permissions, why the hell do they only give out a certain number each day? to guarantee ours, we went down to the questura at 430 AM and there were already 15 people in line. the smart ones brought giant blankets and huddled around a pathetic concrete square enclosed with railings. it was so so so so so so so cold. we basically just stood there until 730 when the station finally opened its doors. and by then the queue was about 20m long and i bet everyone couldnt feel their toes. i definitely couldnt; in fact the chill had crept all the way up to my thighs. so when the doors opened, a fight broke out at the front doors when some people tried to cut queue and got beat up, yelled at, thrown out and made to come back the next day. once inside, we realised there was no heating in the building and the toilet was perpetually off limits because the policemen kept hauling various handcuffed men into the unisex toilet for urine drug testing. ahhs. i used to see all of this on tv only.

when we finally got our permissions at 11, we celebrated by having cappuccinos and mini croissants (they dont it croissants here, but i cant remember the italian term) and then we headed down to some other building to get our fiscal codes, but guess what! they were on strike!!! whoopeedoo! lol. which on hindsight is a good thing because apparently they hand fiscal codes out the questura way too.

later on at night, i went down with a couple of people to another exchange party at a bar called casablanca. there are exchange parties every tuesday, just like mambo nights haha. but i bet in a few weeks' time, when everyone has gotten enough alcohol to last a lifetime, the institution will fade. i had a pina colado, a long island, a caipirinha and a tequila sunrise. yeeeps, im drinking a whole lot more here and by the time the night ended, i felt so nice and warm. a cute italian guy with dreadlocks asked me if he could kiss me. he also asked if i would like to smoke a joint with him. i liked his hair alot, but alas i had class the next day and so i had to refuse. lol.

the most amazing thing about being here, is that i genuinely am in love with it. and all of you would too, so here's hugs and kisses from milan, and a delectable store display of marzipan, truffles and other sweets for y'all! :]

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

12:08 AM

Monday, January 16

yesterday was the coldest ever since i arrived; if this was my first day i might just have died. to beat the cold i just dug my hands deeper into my pocket, tucked my chin down and sprint-walked back to the pensionato. guess thats the famous milanese stride. you have to be sufficiently nimble on your feet to navigate the cobbled streets and messy tram tracks that criss-cross all over the roads, all the while wearing the highest heels.

in five short days with even shorter daylight hours, i have managed to spend 600 euros; most of it on salads, coffee and shopping. it is disastrous i tell you. lol kenneth did the most evil thing and converted it back into sing dollars back for me. arrrgh! this money could have taken me to mongolia and back from singapore.

everything is so beautiful here but its too cold to stand in one place and take pictures. lol so sorry, only people warming themselves in warm underground bars with warming alcohol photos for now!

(thats a banana cow. and thats a very long long island tea. heh.)

sundays here, every goddamn place is closed. we couldn't even find a decent place for lunch, but you'll be surprised at the number of bars opened til late on sunday nights here for apperitivo buffets. the usual thing to do here is head out at around 9 for apperitivos, then eat some small makans at the buffet, then head down to a wine bar and head back. last night, we did sheeshah again, and this morning i didnt wake up until the cleaning lady knocked on my door.

i'd like to talk about racism and i'd originally written down some of my thoughts last night but i realised they were very juvenilely thought out. because it affects everybody it tends to be a personal reaction to how you perceive people to perceive you. and it really is unfair because you need to give people time to get to know you. well for one, i have destroyed many an 'ugly american' stereotypes here because ive met so many genuine people here. and my worry that italians would be snobbish and racist is completely unfounded! if there's anything that puzzles me sometimes, its how hard i have to try to break down the asian stereotype.

sometimes i feel like im constantly trying to prove that im not a boring asian by going out, socializing, laughing, eating, playing, dancing and it is getting rather tiring because there's only so many nights i can go out just to prove that i have a life. i mean, sometimes i'd just like to stay in and talk and the phone and/or hang out with the other singaporeans. it seems like being social can take up a bit of brain space. a lot of them like to ask me why the korean girls just stay in their room all day long, and why the other singaporean girls lock their doors even when they are in, and im like, really i dont know. its got nothing to do with how asian we are. we are just different people. if the korean girl is shy, do i have to defend that trait as being exclusively asian? if we singaporeans are slightly paranoid, do i have to defend that too?

other than random thoughts that intersperse these cold days, life's good but i look forward to people calling me! there is nothing like a familiar voice and accent and a beloved friend :] my italian mobile is +3409251457 and its incoming all day so call, call, call! im not sure if the number includes the country code and all so you gotta check that. and i kinda need some instant coffee over here so here is my address :]

Amanda Eng (Mailbox #66)
C/o International Relations Office
Bocconi University
Via Sarfatti 25
20136 Milano, Italia

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

11:53 PM

ohmygoodness.

central6 is hilarious. amazing the kind of nonsense they
come up with under the pretext of studying. mamma mia.

love,

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

11:38 PM

Saturday, January 14

haha ok i've been procrastinating.

i have yet to register my laptop with the school (tuesdays and thursdays only from 2-4 pm) so i cannot upload pictures and i have also yet to get my permission to stay from the questtera which is the main police station. apparently to get the permit of stay is a DISASTROUS experience. you have to go at like 5 am and you only leave at around 1 pm. everybody says its an exercise in the monstrosities of italian bureaucracy. lol. i think i'll go next tuesday. if i dont, i'd be an illegal immigrant. negative degrees at 5 am. do you know how horrid that is? i can barely survive walking from the school to the cafeteria at lunch time! last night i had a dream. i dreamt that my daddy came to visit and i was showing him my horrible blisters on the foot and ulcers in the mouth. blisters because i am too used to flip flops and ulcers because i dont drink enough water. :( boo hoo.

i went shopping on wednesday and thursday. hehehehe. i might just spend a lot of money shopping. everyone looks so good here, its brilliant!! everybody looks so sharp and crisp and black. bellissimo! lol. the duomo here is the center of milan and its got this beautiful plaza right around it that houses zara, sisley, h&m and the likes. and further down there is armani, gucci, et al. drool, drool.

i went clubbing on wednesday night. and the caipirinha and other apperitifs here is TO DIE FOR. (i.e. it kills you and your tummy is so warm, you can go out and smoke without your coat.) you cant smoke in clubs here and i imagine singapore will be like this in a while. everybody goes out and smokes and go, "ciao! io mi chiamo !" haha. learning italian is real real real hard. i get my tongue all mixed up and sometimes italian sounds like japanese. like io mi chiamo just sounds like yomikayamo haha. like i was telling kenneth, it sounds like im having a lot of fun but im also sometimes lonely and stuff. i got free incoming now so please call me. sms my singapore no and i'll pass on my new numbers. (i dont have my notebook with me now.) hehe.

i love their insalatas. not cheap though. its 4.60 euros for an insalata al tonno here. add another euro for a caffe and yeah, lunch for 10 sing dollars. fainted. bah. lol.

note: the asians here are the dirt of society. i see asian cleaners all around. haha.

seconda note: i cannot wait to go down to the tip of the boot. lol, naples and sicily. ive met a few of the southern guys here at the pensionato and they are so warm and helpful and they all wanna cook dinner for us. lol. guys who cook, i lurve.

ok ta. take care :)

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

1:48 AM

Wednesday, January 11

from the last time i blogged till now,

i have gone out for the nicest margherita pizza (and my first meal since i got here). ive also had 2 cups of capuccino and an expresso which was a mistake because i forgot caffe here is expresso. i have also passed by many "drink buffets" which is a special thing here where if you order an alcoholic drink which costs around 6 or 7 euros, you are entitled to a dinner buffet made up of little small bites. of course 5 plates of little small bites add up to quite a bit. i have had pannetonne, italian beer, italian liquor and banana cake with the nice guys who stay in my corridor. they're from the south. so they eat a lot. and cook a lot. yummmmmy. ive had sheeshah last night too and smoked a mysterious brown substance mixed with tobacco which i believe is illegal. SO EXCITING!! today i went out with 3 americans and i think they are so goddamn anal and complain a lot. more than singaporeans. i think i like the italians more. hope everybody's fine and thank you for tagging me! i know my posts sound very rambly these days but when you're paying 3 euros for an hour of internet, you kinda try to save time on prettified prose. i promise i'll try to get my laptop and skype up soon! muacks.

love,
amanda

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

11:44 PM

Tuesday, January 10

THANK YOU!

everybody for coming down.

im embarrassed that i cried in front of everybody haha but when i hugged my tiny little bird of a mother, i suddenly felt pangs of worry because i couldnt protect her. which ironically is nonsensical because she is the one protecting me as a mother, but strangely i do feel a sense of protectiveness over her. maybe it has got to do with her tiny frame and vegetarian diet. thank you pakloon for the bak kwa and brownies. and liwern for your nonya kueh and char siew sou. i ate so much on the train that from the time i arrived in milan till now, i havent eaten a thing and im still not hungry. i can also safely say, i dont think i'll be missing home food for quite a bit. muaaaacks. liwern, did isaac get mad with you in the end? thank you raymond for mr zippo lighter. eh, it stopped working today. why ah? something to do witht the fluid and the liquid? :S haha its so freeezing cold that sometimes im loathe to light up because it means that i have to expose my fingers. thank you cheryl for coming down. thank you debzzzzz for calling jiaying and bringing photos. i miss jiaying, you know? but we're how estranged. hrm. thank you kennneettthhy for that drawing. lol i thought it was going to be another sneaky picture hahas! thank you camouflaged-flasher-lynn. for some reason that jacket and you are now inextricably linked! lol. thank you richard lol, its time to cut your hair. muacks.

milan is cool. when i arrived, i couldnt even lug my baggage down the escalator. so i took a cab. 90 euros. wheeeeeeeee. en route to the pensionato, the street lamps illuminated gazillions of graffiti around town. this morning, it was FREEZING. (still is.) its beautiful this place. not paris beautiful. not london beautiful. but milan beautiful. i dont know how to describe it and my time is running out. (internet cafe.) love yall. italian old men are ADORABLE!!!!!

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

6:25 PM

Sunday, January 8

im leaving, im leaving! i ate chinese new year perssimon today with my grandmother this rainy afternoon. im going to miss everybody :[ booo.

i had a strange dream a few nights ago. it involved a roadside stall in jb, lynn, cheryl, liwern and me, and a policeman who was accusing me of drinking alcohol when i was in fact drinking chrysanthemum and who later fined lynn for littering her cigarette butt.

they say dreams are mishmashed bits of memory. lynn, cheryl, liwern came from hanging out in the past couple of weeks. chrysanthemum came from cheryl who only drinks chrysanthemum after clubbing. roadside stall in jb came from my secret desire to eat seafood in malaysia one last time before leaving. the cigarette butt littering fine came from, ach. everyone knows where it came from. hahas.

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

8:02 PM

ahh, mos. so preeettaaayy...

but im too lazy to write about it, so let me direct you to cheryl's blog because she's done a fantastic job. me, i luurrvve the decor but i just cant spin nice luscious narratives about furniture. hahas.

the chauffeur and the hostess

errr, the pimp and i. haha!

liwern: 'ah man! enough long sleeved tops anot!' 'got buy the thick stockings from marks and spencers anot!' 'you are going to freeze la!' 'aiyo! who's going to shop with me!?' cheryl: 'whaaat! you havent started packing!?!?!?' 'italians are damn attitude la! they will help you with a black face' 'wa better pray they dont lose your luggage!' kenneth: 'manda, DONT take the bus. please take cab. dont be silly.' 'manda, please take cab. dont be silly.' 'manda, PLEASE DONT take the bus or train or anything. take a cab. dont be silly.'

everybody is freaking me out! as i sipped my latte, i actually contemplated acting worried to wipe off the worried expressions off my friends' faces. dont worrrry laaaa. im how strong. muacks.

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

3:31 AM

Friday, January 6

sorry la, i only have this picture, so i have to post it up again. stupid girls, cant let me be miserable in peace. but i secretly am so grateful they came to pluck me out from the bottomless pit of er, sickness and despondence.

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

6:25 AM

Thursday, January 5

i just cannot sleep. instead im up eyeballing every single entry on couchsurfing.com which is a brilliant website that will completely explunge any future need for me to book at a pensionato, dormitory, hostel, guesthouse or hotel. instead, all i will have to do is just email someone in that country whose couch is up for grabs and crash over at night. most of these people are travellers in their own rights so they'd probably be on the same frequency as well. hell, couchsurfing.com is even better than globalfreeloaders.com because it operates on a friendster basis i.e. pictures, profiles, countries visited, references, etc. brilliant, really.

im also checking out the weather forecasts for milan; not very encouraging. haha when ben said it snowed last week, i was excited because i thought it was some sort of rare occurence; or rather something that wouldnt be happening everyday. london wasnt that bad and london is so much further north than milan is. but then, i just checked the reports and well right now its 'a misty 2deg' and on monday (which is when im arriving) the maximum day is -4deg and minimum night is -7deg. no one has to tell me im going to freeze my butt off. i already know. h e llll p!!!

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

5:15 AM

Wednesday, January 4

i woke up to grey skies and a sinking heart, cos zh was leaving today. then he messaged me 'its alright baby, come here and let me give you a hug.'

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

6:47 PM

Tuesday, January 3

i felt pretty damned pleased to finally lay hands on the italian visa; this pretty little wisp of a slip that has eluded me for weeks on end. like an asylum seeker just having been granted status. or a highly precocious tabletennis/soccer/badminton player from china/ghana/zimbabwe just having been accorded singapore citizenship. not surprisingly, im best friends now with the malay consular lady and also unofficial singaporean aide to the embassy because everytime im there, i help inform visitors to sign in and take a queue number because the queue number machine is so poorly situated that nobody notices it. special thanks to raymond, special aide of the aide, because he accompanied me down twice! :]

on another note, fitting everybody into my remaining days is impossible unless i intend to eat dinner proper and two suppers every night. then i can really start my grand tour with five kilos of fried carbohydrates rolling in my tummy. :[ amongst others, i have to supper with zx, supper with richard, meet up with kenneth, go fongseng with lynn and liwern, meet up with deb, meet up with aaron, mambo a last time, let raymond show me around mos, diner with my family, buy a nice roomy bag to bring up the plane, buy more longsleeved tops because the last time i checked, my wardrobe was thin and sleeveless enough to be compressed into a duffel bag.

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

5:41 PM

Sunday, January 1

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

its time to be born again :]

giddy up all resolutions y'all and make personal pacts to streamline your diets to compensate for all that festive feasting in the past weeks!! (only i read in the papers this morning that a few minutes of log cakes, walnuts, hor'oeuvres and turkey ham takes a month to work off. booo..) gleefully anticipate the 3-5% expansion forecast for next year!! :] :] :] pray for the well-being of the world, your nation, your family, your lover, your friends and your sanity! spend january feeling like a new person until the toils of the new year start pouring in!! i spent my first moments of 2006 in a hotel lobby and the back of a cab, but the smell of optimism was unmistakable.

"New Year's eve is like every other night; there is no pause in the march of the universe, no breathless moment of silence among created things that the passage of another twelve months may be noted; and yet no man has quite the same thoughts this evening that come with the coming of darkness on other nights." - Hamilton Wright Mabie

the immediate months ahead, will be spent on foreign soil. no matter how brave i like to think i am, im a bit scared at the prospect of exchanging english for italian, company for solitude, dependence for independence, meepok for linguini, tropical for mediterranean. thus it seems fitting that new year's eve's evening was a quiet time of contemplation. a stroll through katong, devouring laksa and exclaiming at the recent mushrooming of peranakan galleries. i'll miss home for sure. the new year, or the first half of it at least, is going to pass by just like that. im going to come back as a transformed new tough chick. haha.

anybody who was out yesterday would know this. ALL THE FUCKING CABS IN SINGAPORE DISAPPEARED!!! as if public holiday surcharges werent enough. as if midnight surcharges werent enough. as if calling for a cab wasnt pricey enough. bahh. lol. its nice knowing the whole singapore was out partying but its also painful to realise that everyone was jamming the booking lines and hailing a cab off the streets was virtually a non-option. tired and slightly sick of the new year already, we squatted by the road side and stoned and joined the bandwagon in jamming up the lines.

halfway through, zh decided to be a taxi sleuth and his sharp eyes led us to the snaking fullerton queue where it was apparent that the hotel had an arrangement with trans cab (the red colored ones) because there was an entire chain outside the fullerton at one point.

but as fate would have it, the influx of red cabs started to ebb and the queue remained as long as ever and after a while zh got so annoyed he literally went to request for the most expensive surcharge ever. 45 bucks to go home in a merc cab! alamak. albeit shiok, its also fucking expensive and i dunno what to say. lol. choke, choke, choke, choke.

the next time we opened our eyes, wadya know. its 2006! time to wake up, eat toast, slurp eggs and smell some kopi. many happy returns for the year, everybody! :]

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

4:08 PM