Thursday, March 31

on tuesday night, in my excitement (rather, anxiety) to complete my stats project, i missed dinner. there was already this strange irritation in my throat. something akin to throat cancer. eating lynn's vegetable-cracker-with-chocolate did not help either. after being in an aircon room at pgp for 3 hours straight, i was clingwrapped in this internal chill. lynn commented on how disgustingly purple my lips were. back in my room later, i still had not shaken off that icy feeling.

wednesday. fever horrendous fever. zh said kissing me was like kissing fire. i had flashes of intense perspiration that alternated with cool flushes. madness. i slept mostly.

thursday. still a little feverish. but much better i suppose. i had to go down to town to get a blouse for presentation. retail therapy might just work? my ass. rizuan offered me this privileged 40% discount for 31st march only. it was so priviledged that topshop didnt have those typical banners blaring the discount. while shopping i suddenly got this shit-ass nauseous feeling and ran out of the building and collapsed all wobbly into a cab.

i got craving for yakitori. i guess its quite a valid craving considering my current diet - panadols and much much fluids. wheres the nearest tori q to nus?

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

6:02 PM

math modules are typically boring i would imagine. but BUAHAHA the webcast james sent me was fucking hilarious. this guy went into cahoots with the lecturer to flash some kiddy mediocre powerpoint slide that urged this girl cuixin to "take (his) hand" HAHA. ohman. i sent it to zh and his computer laughed so hard, it logged him off msn. apparently the girl is super embarrassed and pissed now. it might have been compounded by the fact that this dude has long greasy hair (from what i could see of the webcast) and looked like a cambodian factory worker.

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

2:45 AM

Wednesday, March 30

cheryl my darling is coming back on friday instead. she of the adorable heat rashes, fantastic dress sense and ahmah-o-logic. how ive missed you! !

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

1:13 AM

Tuesday, March 29

8.2 on the richter scale, off sumatra. tsunami alerts for all coastal areas. the quakes just keep going up and up the scale these days. why!

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

2:21 AM

Monday, March 28

gettin excited over another copy of western front and a pretty new bookmark from borders is a sign of impending exam stress, dont you think?

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

2:31 AM

liwern lookin so hot. and me, not..

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

1:42 AM

Sunday, March 27

eating out with loved ones. on thursday night i had dinner at laupasat satay club which memorably included this mozarella prata which incidentally does not resemble a pizza in any way. on friday night i went romanyrome with pasta and shit with my exclassmates! on saturday night, despite having consumed an entire pint of icecream for breakfast, i went for deb's church bbq.. we had to..er, play wacko and charades as part of the deal, though.. ha ha. on sunday night, my mom treated me to indian vegetarian to reward me for that "solid A" that i kept bragging about. i predict tomorrow will be zh's death wish day. "darliiing! do i look fat!"

speaking of death wishes, i got my own in the form of zh's eversmiling mother. she's a nice woman i guess - all people are essentially, nice - but she just hates me. and my guts. and my tattoos. and everything i represent. and no matter how hard i smile, i feel like shes sharpening her fangs for the next encounter we have. remind me, OH REMIND ME, never to go near her. and antagonize her. sigh. losing battles, how many more do i have to fight.. suddenly i miss felix's haircombing mom - "amanda! can you tell i dyed my hair??"

zh is threatening to confiscate my desperate housewives vcd. cos i keep asking him if he's repressed. but im learning a LOT from the show :D teehee.

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

11:45 PM

Friday, March 25

driving around with loved ones. zh picked me up from home, then went to pick his grandparents up, sent his grandparents to church, then we both went church. then after church he went to pick his grandparents up, but they'd gotten tired of waiting for him cos service ended late, so they took a cab back home instead. he then sent me to my place cos i'd forgotten to take my hall key, then sent me to hall, cos i wanted to take my bronzer, laptop and camera, then rushed back to queenstown to pick up his mother and sisters from church, sent them back home, then he drove both of us down again to siglap to have lunch, then he drove me back home. then an hour later, he drove me back to town so that i could meet ling and jikun and then he drove home. why do i love him? well, how can i not?

its so nice seeing my classmates again :D i really really really enjoyed being with them again. it makes me hope that somehow we'd manage to keep in contact; me ling becky jikun fad alan.. happy bdae fad! this time of course there's the added dimension of hoping that new friendships get cemented, and distant ones remain pleasant..

then my daddy came and picked me up. i really dont mind being a daddy's girl :)

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

11:29 PM

i once thought i was addicted to love; but now im more inclined towards the seduction of contentment. love just doesnt cut it. ive seen people tormented by love, ive seen people stricken by success. so perhaps discontentment is really the anal bit of life's disillusions.

today was a beautiful day. i received an extrememly gratifying A for my history midterm :D (yeeehah!) everyone can attest to my hard work; i spent a long time chatting with an interesting malay librarian at central librarian who orated more like a newscaster then a mahcik; i bought 3 packs of tissue from a blind man's wife at satay club; and maybe best of all, i had a date with my bf :)

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

1:16 AM

Thursday, March 24

i spent the night talking to lynn and liz, and now its already 4! goodnight! :D

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

4:07 AM

Wednesday, March 23

reverie! i know reverie! *trying to resist that groupie seduction*

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

11:22 AM

the lovely A- we received today. sweet.

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

12:30 AM

oh just check out my billowing skirt!

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

12:28 AM

Tuesday, March 22

my legal teacher is really the deal; she is so eccentric that we cannot be ambivalent towards her. she nitpicks on the colour combinations on powerpoint slides. in her esteemed opinion, she thinks red and blue is a terrible combination and from then on she refused to read all the cases in red. and then she proceeds on to grumble about completely irrevelant things. she chastises a poor vietnamese girl for not being understandable. then she justifies by meanness by directing the question back at us. "u mean u all can understand her?" and then when we're discussing a case on some sole proprietor selling dried pork, she suddenly exclaims that "that's ba kwa you know!" and then a few seconds later, "i like ba kwa! do you all like ba kwa?" she is also has paramount paranoia. she handles the mike with a tissue paper "lots of germs you know" and gets alarmed when she imagines people pounding on the lt doors. she even calls me a naughty girl when i dont write my telephone number on my written assignment. seriously. who demands telephone numbers on assignments anyway? only her. and she likes to brag about her 25 years of lecturing experience and the plethora of writings she has accomplished. she is eccentric, sometimes annoying and always irrelevant. but strangely, she's a good and captivating teacher. and no one can ever fault her for being boring.

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

5:10 PM

Monday, March 21

liwern,me,xilin,joyce,ying,joann!

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

1:37 AM

Sunday, March 20

beach day. well, i still have a dire lack of ball sense. and i also still have a turbid preoccupation with my wobbly tummy. and i am also still a little shy around people.. but beach day was otherwise quite nice. the shady sun also suited my leathery skin just fine. a bit more sun and i would be peeling like old paint.

i love him for smelling passable enough to my dog at least. it felt like some divine doggy sign when my usually-malicious rottweiler sniffed him a few times over and decided that it wasnt gonna attack zh. i love him for enjoying first thai at purvis street as much as i do. i love him for asking me "where should we stay next time?" to which i think my answer will be : somewhere woody, leafy, lush and with food nearby. i love him for delighting in my impulse purchase of this gorgeous lamp. and the mock horror when the lady's nets machine didnt work and hence he had to pay for it cos just a minute ago, i forced him to draw money. (gut instinct?) hee. i love him for whipping me up and making me laugh in the middle of the pavement and scaring that ancient man walking in the opposite direction. i love him for joking around with my baby sister like he's known her for eons. and i love him for just being so perfect when i feel like being in a good mood, and being so tolerant when im in a terrible mood. hee

if i can find so many times to proclaim all the teeny things i love about him, then what will happen in a lifetime?

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

7:23 PM

i know ive been away from home for far too long when the trodden shortcut leading home feels like another country. when i start noticing patterns of mud and start imagining ricefarmers plomping around on that very footpath.

and i also start to wonder if fengshui really exists when i notice that the new muslim stall at the corner of the shophouses doesnt have any business. like his 10 million other predecessors.

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

10:29 AM

Friday, March 18

the theme was salsalah: salsa gone wrong. which upped the stakes for bestdressed tables. the colourful night can only be described as freaks in the ballroom.. unexcusable were the snowwhites, peterpans, greek geeks, ruggers in scgs uniforms, guys with tuxedos and boxers, tehtarik men!

felt a little lost sometimes. but it'll pass..

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

12:50 PM

ohyes everyone wants to get a piece of my hat!

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

3:19 AM

retros, meet military swaggers..

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

3:13 AM

thumbs up for liz, everyone!

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

3:07 AM

and also for the past few days, i've been reflecting and thinking that the creator couldnt have possibly meant for his little clay creatures to turn out into petty jealous creature. sometimes im so horrible to my bf that im virtually an ogre. for someone who primps so much, i should nurture my insides too. not intestinally speaking of course. zh is so tolerant, too tolerant and i appreciate, and sometimes deviously take advantage of it. i know he will just curdle up and die and kill me if i say he's being victimized by me. (male ego la) but i think i can be the biggest fattest bully too. things are wonderful between us, so i must be more mindful.

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

12:01 AM

Thursday, March 17

now, today was a spectacularly good day!

liwern and i went shopping! now, who is liwern? liwern was my jc schoolmate whom i never never ever knew except that alan used to express innane increduibility (word check, word in existence?) at the fact that she plays the piano. now, she stays on d2 together with yiming and i, and im glad that somehow circumstances have thrown me a good shopping/eating/chilling and dare-i-say, sinful girlfriend!

i bought a yummy hat (look below)

and a yummy top from kai. i love kai. im always glad to introduce kai's stuff to my friends, because they're really that delicious. beware though, only tiny people can fit into it. i often emerge from kai feeling like an elephant in a china shop.

and makeup.

and underwear from fling which was having yet another sale. (cheryl, i bought the same pair of purple undies..at a fraction of the price. HOHO.)

then we smoked sheesha. and fell over ourselves exclaiming at the prettiness of the place. (thankyou deb for discovering this gem, i keep finding myself going back there!)

now, why cant my girlfriends go out for nice shopping trips like these? we've morphed into mad creatures that are architecturing all the time (jiaying) or businessing (deb) or halling (me)

i miss yall!

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

12:34 AM

hats! hats! hats!

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

12:30 AM

Wednesday, March 16

i just met dear jiaying to borrow her camera and also to gulp down half her cup of caramel chocolate coffee. stomach flu my foot! lol

i got accepted into yep! i hope liwern gets it too..

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

11:35 AM

Jealousy is said to be the offspring of Love. Yet, unless the parent makes haste to strangle the child, the child will not rest till it has poisoned the parent. - A.W. Hare and J.C. Hare

i suggest i quickly turn murderous myself.

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

1:31 AM

Tuesday, March 15

mini cardigan a success!

and on another note, zoot suit riots were the racial riots between youth gangs in america during the 1940s. we were all dancing to the zoot "soot" riot song during dp, but now i know where it comes from!

love,amanda

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

7:49 PM

Monday, March 14

listening to thievery corporation now. shadows of ourselves. very nice. today is the 3 deadlines day.

budget, settled. i had to forge a signature but thats forgiveable under the circumstance.

chinese business essay. i cant say i liked it. half the group went mia. but if not for tth, i would have been drowning. seriously, for someone who s/u-ed it, he's a godsend. liwern helped me stress over it too. the rest, forget it. quite irritated actually.. even my darling cheryl on the other side of the ocean helped me edit and proofread it. here's a big fat juicy MUACK to everyone who helped. :D

bizcomms execsummary. yeppityyep. no problem there.

now left my bizlaw essay. 30% of my grade and im still asking shane things like "is a clause a condition?" and shane has to tell me "a clause is just a lump of words in a contract, my dear. it can be a term or a condition." dang. big big big thanks to him as well too.

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

1:00 PM

Saturday, March 12

i think eel's i need some sleep has become the anthem for all sleep-deprived people. yep, i really do need some rest.

from sunday til wednesday, i was writing essays like a crazed typist. from thursday to saturday i was collecting money, reimbursing people, tallying accounts and getting all financial procedures right. fest la vie was pretty much a success, methink. we got denise keller down at one point in time (ok, it was half an hour, and she was only promoting safe-sex..) and we had reverie playing sets on thursday and friday. it was better than the 10 bazaars before that. central forum has been bazaar-ed since the start of school. i cant even remember it being empty anymore. there was much much eye candy around the bazaar, but in the large scale of things, it doesnt matter. im in love with my own bf. however, i dont know why i looked forward to seeing aus. maybe its because he thinks im cute, and i cant resist showing off. or maybe its because i think he's cute too. (is there a better word for cute? it sounds so juvenile.)

so apart from settling all sorts of mundane stuff, i was also manning this terrible booth for a consignment vendor. but mostly i grabbed any chance to do something. i walked around the bazaar a few million times over and i kept buying things. i think i contributed to a fair bit of the total profits of all our stalls. i bought a miss sixty bag for 72 dollars. and that was AFTER it went on 70% sale. original price was a mindblowing 240bucks! then i bought this green/brown necklace thing. and in the 3 days i ate 7 cups of iscream yoghurt. madness. my favourite combinations are: pineapple/longan/peach, pineapple/blueberry/peach, peach/mango/kiwi. yeah. the 7th cup of yoghurt was free. customer loyalty pays. i was eating almost every hour because the weather was just too hot, and also i'd rather stand around and eat and talk than man that boring stall.

i had to man the camp booth at openhouse today too. i was told to try and get guys, because too many girls have signed up. they also told me to "qc" which meant i literally had to check out all these boys and make sure they made the quality control cut. unfortunately i cant say i found any. and even if i did, i didnt have the guts to approach them. no matter how much confidence i try to psyche up, i never get over my fear of talking to goodlooking people. how the hell am i going to be a pageant coordinator? im going to spend half the time comparing and feeling insecure about myself.

maybe i'll get some rest. nights everybody.

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

10:47 PM

i find it so beautiful the way my friends get so happy and excited when i tell them ive become a christian! arun was just positively brimmming with it all. there must be something good indeed; there is something good!

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

12:54 AM

Friday, March 11

test is overr! yay! :] first essay i did was on william huskisson and the railway developments. read an irritating novel for that one. second one was a discourse on whether napoleon and robespierre would be more characterized as dictators or democrats. took a fiiine long time soliciting everybody's opinion on what the question was trying to ask. watched danton, a rather rambly cranky old film marked with many monologues. and then the third one, was about politics and economics and world war I. upon scouring the net, i found out that nobody really cares about the first big one. everyone prefers hitler. prisoner of honor was the required viewing; luckily its a nice show. but by the time i was done with the 3rd one, i thought my 1st one sucked. such is life. haha.

guess which one came out?

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

9:33 AM

I am a Progressive Girl

Take the 'What Kind of Girl Are You?' quiz at CookingToHookup.com

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

12:31 AM

Thursday, March 10

if only everyday ended with scrumptious burgers and stuffed jalapenos at blooie's roadhouse :) in zh's words, "i like it when you're satisfied; you're so much more lovable; i mean, loving.." :)

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

11:36 PM

Wednesday, March 9

my boobs are nothing to shout about. but today this shortypants squirt was eyeing my boobs all the way from the tutorial rooms to eusoff. fuckerrr.. it didnt help that his eye level was on par with my boobs

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

11:59 AM

Tuesday, March 8

i feel slightly pained at the thought of writing 3 essays and then only having the chance to only hand up one during the test. how about the other 2 (potentially award-winning) ones??

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

5:30 PM

change of mind; danton is great! he orates astoundingly so. but later was guillotined. sniper-style. swish. head rolls. the guillotines in the show were spectacularly cold.

interestingly, robespierre was later guillotined himself for orchestrating the reign of terror. guillotined face up.

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

1:27 AM

im at the 1:31:01 midway break of the 2:16:31-long french revolution flick, danton. i cant even call it a flick, actually, for there is nothing flicky, specialeffecty or exciting about it. its about robespierre, danton, desmoulins, the convention, the republic and the committee. hmm, dont they all sound alike. they are all under the same faction, yet they argue amongst themselves so. them silly french flouncies with their powdered wigs and ruffled collars.

45minutes more! then i have to write an essay, all the while referring to this great franco affair.

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

12:10 AM

Monday, March 7

if i werent in love, i could make anyone unhappy anytime i desired. if i werent in love, nobody could make me sad. nothing except the movies can make me cry. nobody could discuss philosophy with me and make me mad. cos frankly who cares a tuppence if tom dick or harry thinks life is existentially alone. toms dicks and harrys wouldnt even know me, cos i dont date dickheads with such duncey names.

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

12:11 AM

Sunday, March 6

there are haunters of the silence, ghosts that hold the heart and brain. - madison julius cawein

i dont even know what im angry at anymore. keeping silent keeps the null status quo null, hides embarrassments, and indulges the lack of benevolence. ive never been relinquished into false pride so keenly before.

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

12:01 PM

Saturday, March 5

it was not that she was out of temper, but that the world was not equal to the demands of her fine organism. - george elliot

can i divorce my bf, please..

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

12:18 AM

Thursday, March 3

six months with my giant teddy bear. so he's not that furry and completely without any huggable bits, but he's still mine. im happy and contented to skip along beside him as we contemplate the world at large. im languid in bond enough to remain the unadulterated queen of his world. and my soul is ravished and satisfied by loving so immeasurable. just imagine that feline purr, now. you make me so happy, and you indulge my insanity so :)

lets stay.

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

1:36 AM

Wednesday, March 2

i thought life after dp would be enviable. long free night would stretch ahead. but i've got 2 tests next week, 2 piss-ass assignments due in week after that, and in between these 2 weeks from hell, i have to go down for dinner and dance (...) and a bash and i've got fest la vie in mid march too. which im treasurer of. so late march would be invoice insanity. and then i have to prepare for freshmen orientation projects.. not to mention my project for chinese businesses and my term (the horror!) paper for hist!

i wanna cry.

happy birthday cheryl

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

2:51 PM

Tuesday, March 1

whaaat a night. i planned to start studying for the euro history quiz at midnight yesterday. maybe til 4 or something..2 chapters, manageable. but then i decided to go for supper with lynn and her friend, and ended up starting to study at 2.15am. i log onto ivle, check for the chapters im supposed to study for the quiz (we have quizzes every tutorial) and find out to my greatest horror, that my midterm exam was scheduled for this week. which means it would be today. which means thats 6 hefty weeks' worth of work instead of 2 chapters. i didnt even know i had midterms for euro hist! by 6am i was dying; i went to bed. set the alarm for 8am. i wanted to wakeup and study again. ha ha. i checked my inbox. test postponed til next week. i laugh hysterically (even though i cant explain the nature of that laughter, lynn), then i went to bathe, brushed my teeth, fell asleep. and woke up to prawn noodles, gado gado, yew tiao and tau huay for breakfast. courtesy of zh.

Swirls and whirls
and butterflies.

4:42 PM